So I am sitting here watching the pilot of "The Loop." I was somewhat psyched about it taking place in Chicago being that I am currently displaced in the DC Metro area. I have to tell you; the best part of the show are the canned shots of the Windy City. The jokes are subpar at best, and the plot is flatter than Nebraska. To top it all off, one scene is supposed to take place at Comiskey Park. It is too bad the name of the stadium has been U.S. Cellular for a couple of years now, and the locals affectionately refer to it as "The Cell." I find it odd, too, that the Los Angeles Times would have its name about the scoreboard on a stadium in Chicago. The icing on this horrible cake had to have been the clear indications that the baseball stadium was also used for football games. For the record, The Cell has never hosted a football game and has never been lined for a football game. It is nice to see Hollywood giving Chicago some recognition, but this is not the recognition we need. How about a good show? Is that too much to ask?
I can always tell when JD is the only other person in the room with me, because strange things happen.
For instance, we are currently watching 101 Strangest Things Pulled From the Human Body on TLC. Some of the "graphic images which may be disturbing to sensitive viewers" include pulling 200 nails and several unidentifiable metal objects from a man's stomach [fun fact - the stomach can strech to over 50 times its normal empty size] and watching the reenactment of a man getting his face impaled horizontally by a piece of rebar. Yes folks, it's graphic, but he got to keep both eyes. I can only imagine the kind of dreams I'm going to have tonight. Plus, I think there will be a man carrying his twin later on.
This same show advises, "Those of you attempting to insert a foreign body into the rectal area - don't do it." Duly noted. Thank you TLC. I'm putting the Coke bottle down now, slowly, and stepping away.
Also, I am completely under the influence of new old favorite blog, courtesy of Mimi Smartypants . I spit buttery popcorn all over my computer screen reading some of her entries. She has a talent for finding the best links, including this one from the PA Code.
For you lazy types, 7 Pa. 1.160(a) states that [c]arcasses of swine which give off a pronounced sexual odor shall be condemned.
You read that correctly.
Where do I begin? I hope I can find a court case where a judge addresses this issue. "I'm sorry, Your Honor, but the pig carcass, it was giving off a pronounced sexual odor. I just couldn't help myself. It was asking for it."
And I'm back to zoophilia...now for necrophiliacs! Dammit.
More importantly, what happens if this extends to humans at some point? The law has expanded in other areas...why not this one? "I'm sorry Prophet, but I was overwhelmed by your pronounced sexual odor. You must be condemned."
These are important things to ponder. Which I will do as soon as this poor man on TV finishes explaining what it feels like to have the entire half of his face impaled by a pitchfork.
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