In honor of the glorious weather everyone is enjoying.
Freeze -- 1. A period when the government restricts or immobilizes certain commercial activity. 2. A recapitalization of a closed corporation so that the value of its existing capital is concentrated primarily in preferred stock rather than in common stock.
(This week's term is courtesy of Black's Law Dictionary.)
I offer you exhibit #6 as evidence that God does indeed love us.
Selah.
I afear a good member of our crew has been stricken with this plague. Or something like it. Perhaps even an illness named after his own self. Alas, some mysteries shall never be solved.
Now I know why I'm staying in bed tomorrow morning..."I'm sorry Mister Boss-Man, but I've got the Jake Leg Blues."
Anheuser-Busch is buying Rolling Rock. A moment of silence as another one bites the dust.
Ok, so it's more like the legal term of the week-and-a-half or bi-week. You got a problem? Sue me.
Loss-of-chance doctrine -- A rule in some states providing a claim against a doctor who has engaged in malpractice that, although it does not result in a particular injury, decreases or eliminates the chance of surviving or recovering from the preexisting condition for which the doctor was consulted.
MINEOLA, N.Y. (AP) - A jury took two hours Thursday to reject a widow's claim that her husband's death resulted from an injury he suffered while ducking a piece of flying shrimp at a Benihana steakhouse.
The family of Jerry Colaitis, 47, had sought $10 million US from the Japanese steakhouse chain, accusing it of direct responsibility for his death in 2001. Benihana chefs are famous for their fast and furious knives and food-tossing stunts.
The lawsuit claimed the Long Island man wrenched his neck after a chef tossed a piece of shrimp at a family birthday party.
In the months after the party, Colaitis was treated by several doctors for various ailments and underwent surgery to relieve numbness in his arm. Five months after that, he checked into a hospital with a high fever and died. His family said the fever was a complication of the surgery.
"This man was a rock," Colaitis family lawyer Andre Ferenzo told the jury. "Benihana and only Benihana set in motion the forces . . . that led to his death."
The family claimed the unidentified chef tossed shrimp at the partygoers three times - the last time at Colaitis - and refused to stop even after their pleas. Benihana lawyer Charles Connick disputed the notion that a chef who relies on tips from customers would ignore such a request.
"I scratch my head and I wonder, is it conceivable to you?" Connick asked the jury.
(Better not try any of that shrimp-jitsu with me, Kato, or I'll have to bust out some whoopyourass-fu on your clumsy culinary ass. I AM GODZILLA! YOU ARE JAPAN!!!!)
These tips are compliments of the fine people at Headstrong, a global consultantcy serving all of your needs. So screw you, Price Cooper Anderson Waterhouse Lybrand & Touche, who needs ya!?
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat - have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.Reread tips: Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Dunkin Doughnuts vs. Krispy Kreme....discuss.
Disclaimer:
These posts are not legal advice. This is a personal site. As such, views expressed should not be attributed to any law firm. The views of one author do not necessarily represent the views of the others. Copyright 2005-2007.
Recent Comments