A long-time Judge finally called it a career this week in Demented County, and, having had the pleasure of being in his court as he said his final remarks, I present some exerpts from the Judge's last day:
1. "If at first you don't succeed... take a nap, you'll feel better."
2. "Never accept a free prize, unless they hand it to you off the back of a truck and tell you to run like mad."
3. "A kind word turns away anger. However, a kind word is unenforceable in court."
4. "If you choose to act as your own attorney, you have a fool for a client."
5. "A penny saved is a penny that will eventually find its way down under the sofa cushions."
6. "You'll regret the things you didn't do much more than the things you did do. Be bold."
7. "Law was my vocation, but fishing is my calling."
and lastly (as he got up off the bench for the last time):
"You're all dismissed----with prejudice!"