Ever have one of those days where you feel like everything you've fought for is meaningless? I'm having one of those days. I feel like I keep fighting and trying to make things work out - financially, relationships, family, work - and it all keeps biting me in the ass. "Good job Sui," says life, "but really, it's not enough. And it won't ever be enough." I've had to hear a lot of hard things in the past couple of weeks, and make a lot of hard choices, and it all seems worthless now.
Call it the March blues. Call it what you will. I say that it sucks.
I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of apologizing for everything. I'm tired of trying to look for support from some arena, any arena, and finding out that everyone's left. I'm. Just. Tired. So, you read it here first. I give up. No more trying. No more fighting. What is, is. This post is my white flag to the universe.
On a semi-related note, partners suck. Asshole Partner is not only bored, meaning he stops by my desk every five minutes to ask me how the latest project (Excel chart) is going, but he keeps badgering me about it through useless meetings and horribly typed emails. The reason for the sudden push? He just got back from Beautiful Resort, and is now looking forward to Sloped Valley in two weeks, and therefore "must have everything done before his vacation." Say what? Where's my vacation? And why do I have to work extra-hard so you can rest easy on your vacation? Fuck you, A. Partner. Fuck you, and fuck your endless charts. They're pointless, they're useless, and they're busy work so you can keep busy. I hate you, and I hate Excel. Fuck off and die. /end rant