NOW I'VE SEEN IT ALL

I received something in the post this morning, having already reached its usual state of openness via my (nosy, good-for-nothing, all-up-in-everybody-else's-business bitch) secretary.  It was a motion, much like any other than comes across my desk, with one exception.

A few weeks ago, opposing counsel filed a petition.  Not a particularly unexpected petition, not an outrageous petition, just a petition.  A week later, we filed a motion to strike, mostly due to a technical defect in the pleading, but also to piss the other side off a bit:)  (hey, I'll admit it)

Due to some other foolishness on the part of one of the parties, the Fellatio County state's attorneys are in this matter as well.  A week after we filed our motion to strike, they actually filed a motion to strike OUR motion to strike, because something in the other side's petition would play right into their hands, basically.  Citing obscure, inapposite caselaw and using that last refuge of authority (your honor, I really REALLY FEEL that you should do this...) they are trying to get our motion bounced. 

That is not the motion I'm referring to, however.  As bizarre as a motion to strike a motion to strike may be, I have seen them before.  No, what I'm referring to is the next motion file in our case.  There is a fourth party in our case.

Apparently, someone has had a lien on opposing counsel for a looooooonnnnnggggg time.  Opposing counsel is seeking some money in his petition, because he doesn't want to borrow money from other sources.  The problem lies in that if he borrows money from other sources, it's income, and the lien kicks in; but if it is court-ordered (support, payments, contribution to fees, etc, etc...) then it's not "income", and he avoids the lien.  Naturally, the lien holder wants to see opposing counsel's petition denied, so that money will have to come from lien-friendly sources.

So, I'm sitting here at my desk, at 2:18pm, looking at a motion to strike Fellatio's County's motion to strike my motion to strike Petitioner's Petition.  Accompanying this lovely gift on my chair is a letter from the senior partner (who has been practicing for longer than I've been alive) stating: "What the hell is this?!!  Have you ever seen this before?!!  Write a Response or Motion to Strike---Talk to me."

At this point, words simply fail me.

Comments

[Dave!]

I love it! I'll bet the judge really wants to read a "Motion to Strike the Motion to Strike the Motion to Strike". :)

[Prophet]

Just file a Response in Opposition to each motion... if you can.

BUT YOU NEED TO TAPE RECORD OR GIVE US THE TRANSCRIPT IF YOU HAVE A HEARING ON THESE MOTIONS!