How old are you?

“Well, I look like I am in my twenties”

OBJECTION!! Your Honor, I move to strike the last answer as non-responsive!

Sustained.

Online dating provides the opportunity to slant the truth, but so does real life.  In the hands of a litigator, an online profile can be used to impeach testimony later elicited.  Nevertheless, from an attorney's standpoint, online dating is very frugal.

I call it “two martinis to truth.” This is generally the price I pay ($30 at Le Passage or $26 at the W) to first get a woman’s attention and then to get some sort of truth out of her.  Yet, for that $30 I could surf an online dating community of thousands of entries for a month. I could do it from the comfort of my home, and I could learn something interesting (and retain it) with having to decipher slurred speech in a noisy club.

Nevertheless, there seems to be an on going trend with responses to my profile. I call this the “Champagne Room” effect, after the song with the same name. Chris Rock said, “if a girl tells you she's 26 and looks 26, she's damn near 40...” It was sound advice then, and it is sound advice now. All of these women are damn near forty but don’t disclose such facts until the “date” approaches.  They place a call or send an email containing the preemptive phrase, “by the way does it bother you that I might be a little (*cough 12 years) older than you?”

There is nothing wrong with being old. In fact, several Rogue Barristers are feeling the effects of age, but they are not that old.  I am looking for young, not just young at heart. I want someone that will discuss Social Security the way twenty-year-olds discuss Social Security. I want to hear “why the hell is this coming out of my pay check” and not “I hope SS is still around in another 10 years so I can start collecting.”

The term Champagne Room Effect, may not be not pop-culture correct.  I think the emerging politically correct term for the disease is “Ashton-n-Demi-ism.” But, I want to clarify something to the masses. Demi was hot. Even as a forty-year-old, she is hot, is rich, and has a life.  I would like to remind those women out there that the majority of you share nothing in common with Demi. And even if you look 26, you might not be an attractive 26.

*Prophet

Comments

[Dave!]

Twenty-year olds don't discuss social security. You are obviously older than you think... :)

[Hunc T. Caveto]

Of course we talk about Social Security, I mean the conversation normally is about how you old people are stealing from our check on a monthly basis, but it IS discussed.

And Prophet, yea you could spend the same amount of money to use an online community, but at least if the drunk girl ends up being a dud, your investment into Martinis might at least get you some ancilliary benefits that the online experience doesn't quite provide, regardless of the quality of your screen.

-Hunc

[J.D. Crane]

Seriously man, read over your posts, there are four or five mispellings/grammatical errors in there...

[Prophet]

Like George Lucas,
I don't believe in a final cut... editing is and should be a never ending process.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/10/26/eye.ent.starwars/
http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/10/28/1454223

[J.D. Crane]

The next time you envision, write, direct, and produce two multi-billion dollar trilogies, you just let me know, willy wordsmith...