Ahhh, the Good Ol' Days....

 

             

I was waxing nostalgic about my days as a clerk today, a fellow lawyer and I swapping stories inbetween status calls.
I vividly remember one day, in Odiferous County, which allows clerks to get continuances and enter agreed orders and such, I was in front of Judge Willy Biteyournutsoff, a legendary bad-tempered prelate. I was sent there (while a clerk) to enter an agreed order, only to find that opposing counsel had sent his clerk there to basically re-nege on the deal. As we argued back-and-forth amongst ourselves, the other agreed orders came and went, until we were the only items left before the judge started his hearings call.

The judge, undoubtedly noticing our spat, yelled at us from the bench,"Do you two have something or not!?". We both strode up to the bench, and took turns giving our version of events, which amounted to basically the same thing, in hindsight.
The judge asked the other guy why he should believe him over me. The other guy replied,"Your honor, I've already taken the bar exam, and I'm just waiting for my results. This guy is just some 3L from some office." The judge frowned and then turned to look at me. "And why should I believe you over this fellow?" he asked. At this point I was really getting hot under the collar, and I replied, "Unlike flapjack over there, I actually know the law in this area, and I'm correct, your honor."

The judge's brows rose as I finished my comment, and he sat back in his seat and closed his eyes. After a pause of about 10 seconds, during which the other guy glared at me, and during which I almost told him "I'll only have to take the bar once to pass it, you solipsistic jackass", the judge leaned forward, looked at the other guy and said,"He's right, that is the law." We then entered the agreed order the way I had written it. Ahhhhh, if only I had known then that the spark of victory I felt burning in my belly was but a harbinger of the inferno destined to blaze later in my career, I would have surely cried out: "DENNY CRANE!!!"