The League of Rogue Barristers - Chicago Chapter

McCain Chooses Running Mate

In a surprise move, John McCain chose C. Montgomery Burns as his pick for Vice-President.  McCain was quoted saying, "Monte is just the young buck we need to balance out the ticket."  Burns replied, "Excellent."

Pentagon Can't Account for $15 Billion. Thinks it may be under the Couch.

Apparently, Pentagon officials need to take some accounting courses.  It seems that no one there understands the concept that you need to account for every dollar that you give out to contractors and others (well connected businessmen, campaign contributors, etc.).

Not being able to account for $15 billion is wholly unacceptable.  Not only is this a poor business practice that screams, "Hey!  We're corrupt!," it shows that the Pentagon is not able to run a shuffleboard tournament, let alone a war.  (Which is somewhat scary considering the Pentagon is in the war business.)  Avoiding the appearance of fraud and corruption is even more important for the government.  The money you spend is not profits from lead tainted toys; it is from taxes taken from hard working citizens who deserve better.  You have to account for every single penny.

In my mind, the worse part of the article is the end, which indicated we have spent about $492 billion on the Iraq war.  For that kind of money, gasoline should be free, not an average of $3.87 a gallon.  (We invaded for the oil, right?)  To put that number in perspective, for that kind of money we could have given every homeless person in the United States (estimated at around 750,000) $656,000 to help them get back on their feet.  Or we could give every single American $1,631.

I leave you with the question that has been on my mind for quite some time now.  WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING???!!!!!

Stay thirsty my friends.

Legal Term of the Week (TM)

Laches -- 1. Unreasonable delay or negligence in pursuing a right or claim -- almost always an equitable one -- in a way that prejudices the party against whom relief is sought.  2. The equitable doctrine by which a court denies relief to a claimant who has unreasonably delayed or been negligent in asserting the claim, when that delay or negligence has prejudiced the party against whom relief is sought.

(This week's term is courtesy of Black's Law Dictionary.)

And Millions of Lawyers Rejoiced at their Freedom...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080211/ap_on_hi_te/blackberry_outage

BlackBerry service out in N. America

10 minutes ago

A major service outage afflicted users of the popular, addictive BlackBerry smart phones across the United States and Canada on Monday, wireless carriers said.

Officials with AT&T Inc. and Verizon Wireless said BlackBerry maker Research in Motion Ltd. told them customers of all wireless carriers were affected.

It was not immediately clear how many BlackBerry subscribers had problems, as some users reported being able to access their service normally Monday afternoon.

The BlackBerry service, which lets users check e-mail and access other data services on their handheld devices, has become a lifeline for many business executives and is increasingly popular among consumers with models like the BlackBerry Pearl.

There was no word what caused the outage or when service would be restored.

RIM officials did not return phone calls.

Major disruptions have been rare but often provoke an angry backlash against the Canadian company because of its typically lengthy silences about the cause and because it eventually gives only cryptic, jargon-laden explanations.

When the BlackBerry service suffered a major outage last April, the company remained silent about the cause for two days.

In a statement, AT&T spokesman Fletcher Cook said the company first learned about the problem from RIM at about 3:30 p.m. EST.

"This is not an issue with AT&T's wireless network," Cook said. "Customers could experience difficulties using their BlackBerry devices. RIM has not given us an estimated time of when this problem would be fixed."

RIM is based on Waterloo, Ontario, and has deals with scores of wireless carriers to offer the BlackBerry service around the world.

AP article courtesy of Yahoo.com.

Post #299

Emails from the trenches: 

I received this email from another associate, who received it and will remain nameless:

At first glance, all of the “instead of” language has to go. It’s pejorative, overbearing, meant to cast defendants in a bad light, and obviously unacceptable. Please don’t waste our time by proposing language of that tenor to us again in any future document. 

*Prophet

Quoth the Raven,

In celebration of Edgar Allen Poe's birthday, I give you "The Raven" as recited by Christopher Walken (more cowbell). 

Download the raven.mp3

*Prophet

Legal Term of the Week (TM)

This week's term is for our Chicago Bears and the product they provide for us every week.

Indecency -- The state or condition of being outrageously offensive, esp. in a vulgar or sexual way.

(This week's term is courtesy of Black's Law Dictionary.)

Legal Term of the Week (TM)

This seems fitting given that lack of posting recently.

Abandonment -- 1. The relinquishing of a right or interest with the intention of never again claiming it.  2. Family law.  The act of leaving a spouse or child willfully and without an intent to return.

(This week's term is courtesy of Black's Law Dictionary.)

What are you doing here?

You are here because you are either bored or you are a stalker
If you are a stalker, go away.  If you are bored come cook me dinner.

*Prophet

More posts to follow...  maybe.

Heads or Tails?

This sounds like JD's kind of judge.

 Judge booted for flipping coin to decide               

               
By LARRY O'DELL, Associated Press Writer       Fri Nov  2,  5:02 PM ET                                                                         

                        

RICHMOND, Va. - A judge who ordered a woman to drop her pants and decided a custody dispute by flipping a coin was removed from the bench by the Virginia Supreme Court on Friday. The decision against Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court Judge James Michael Shull of Gate City was unanimous.                         

"Unless our citizens can trust that judges will fairly resolve the disputes brought before our courts, and treat all litigants with dignity, our courts will lose the public's respect and confidence upon which our legal system depends," Justice Barbara Milano Keenan wrote.

According to the court, Shull admitted tossing a coin to determine which parent would have visitation with a child on Christmas. Shull said he was trying to encourage the parents to decide the issue themselves but later acknowledged that he was wrong.

The pants-dropping incidents, the court said, "were even more egregious."

The court said they occurred when a woman was seeking a protective order against a partner who she said had stabbed her in the leg. Shull knew the woman had a history of mental problems and insisted on seeing the wound, the court said.

The woman dropped her pants once to display the wound, then dropped them a second time after Shull left the bench for a closer look to determine whether the woman had received stitches.

A court bailiff testified before the commission that after the hearing, he asked Shull, "Did you see what that lady had on?" According to the bailiff, Shull replied: "Yeah, a black lacy thing ... it looked good, didn't it?"

Shull denied making the comment. His attorney, Russell V. Palmore, did not immediately return a phone call seeking comment Friday.

The justices could have merely censured Shull, but they noted that he had appeared before the Judicial Inquiry and Review Commission in 2004 for allegedly calling a teenager a "mama's boy" and a "wuss" and advising a woman to marry her abusive boyfriend. That complaint was dismissed with an admonition to Shull to chalk it up as a learning experience.

Today is a Sad Day

For we have lost one of the greatest humans to ever grace this Earth.  According to Yahoo!, Robert Goulet passed away today waiting for a lung transplant.  Mr. Goulet, you have brought great joy to us all and you will be missed.

Legal Term of the Week (TM)

This week's term is in honor of our beloved Turnoverasauris Rex.

unclean hands
n. a legal doctrine which is a defense to a complaint, which states that a party who is asking for a judgment cannot have the help of the court if he/she has done anything unethical in relation to the subject of the lawsuit. Thus, if a defendant can show the plaintiff had "unclean hands," the plaintiff's complaint will be dismissed or the plaintiff will be denied judgment. Unclean hands is a common "affirmative defense" pleaded by defendants and must be proved by the defendant. Example: Hank Hardnose sues Grace Goodenough for breach of contract for failure to pay the full amount for construction of an addition to her house. Goodenough proves that Hardnose had shown her faked estimates from subcontractors to justify his original bid to Goodenough.



(This week's term is courtesy of Law.com.)

How dare you do that to such a beautiful car

Lance "Lambo" Briggs, who, when he is not misplacing his expensive cars, is also a part-time linebacker for the Chicago Bears, may have left his brand new Lamborghini Murciélago Roadster LP640 along the Edens expressway. 

The car, registered in his name and being driven with temporary tags, left the road surface impacting a light pole and a sign and scraping along a barrier. The car was found abandoned at around 3:14 a.m. off the northbound lanes of Interstate Highway 94 near Devon Avenue.

News sources report that it was not immediately clear whether Briggs was driving the Lamborghini at the time of the crash.   

There is also no indication whether or not Mr. Briggs, who just inked a $7million deal with the Bears, was injured in the crash.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/

Mr. Briggs, if you wanted to abandon a Lamborghini Murciélago, you could have done so by leaving it in my driveway.

*Prophet

These Guys Make France Look Tough

Here's why Congress has a lower approval rating than the President.  I don't think anyone in the leadership has a clue about being strong and making a stand.  Here's an idea: find two or three issues that the majority of your party can get behind and push your agenda until it's accepted.

Legal Term of the Week (TM)

This week's term is for Lindsay Lohan, who proclaimed her innocence with respect to charges of DUI and possession of cocaine.

Innocent -- Free from guilt; free from legal fault.

(This week's term is courtesy of Black's Law Dictionary.)